


Resurrection

by Lustfulcat



Series: Erwin Smith Appreciation Week 2015 [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Lots of Angst, M/M, Prostitution, Rimming, Sex, blowjob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 01:46:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5028946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lustfulcat/pseuds/Lustfulcat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an accident takes his friends and his arm, Erwin is lost, a ghost in the world. Can a prostitute he meets in the park help him feel alive again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Resurrection

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Erwin Smith Appreciation Week 2015:  
> Day 2: Modern AU  
> Day 3: Birthday  
> Day 4: Sacrifice/Loss
> 
> world-war-eruri.tumblr.com

Erwin had been many things in his life: impressive, a leader, reliable, confident.

He had never been lost. It was entirely new territory. When the accident took his arm it shook him but he was capable so he could’ve handled it.

It was the loss of his friends, people he’d known his whole life, that tore away any resolve he’d had. It stripped him right to the bone, leaving him cold, isolated, and directionless.

 _Lost_. 

The settlement had been huge since it was a defect in the car that hadn’t been issued a recall yet and the manufacturer accepted full responsibility. Recovery and court had taken almost twenty-four months from him but what about all those other years? All the years he’d be without _them?_ Erwin Smith never felt regret but right now it crawled through him like a virus, haunting his sleep and his waking hours, leaving him no respite. 

Walking the short distance to a local park and watching the sunset was the only thing that tethered his mind these days. He wasn’t a suicidal man, wouldn’t even consider it, but he wasn’t living either. He was a ghost, just like his friends, forced to wander without purpose. 

The sky streaked pink and orange as Erwin sat motionlessly on a park bench far from the public eye, his free sleeve rippling in the autumn breeze, head tilted up toward the sky.

Comfortably cool sunk into cold and yet he remained, watching the stars come out. He stayed longer than he should have, unable to go home, attempting to avoid time. 

Letting out a pained breath he didn’t know he was holding Erwin slumped forward a little, scrubbing his hand over his face and blearily looking at the park around him. People were moving images on a slideshow now and he was set back, watching their documentary. 

The park was a shortcut between two streets, so there was high traffic on the main pathway. A few readers had gathered around the light of the central fountain and couples dotted the darker park benches, either watching the stars or each other. 

 _There he is._  

Erwin had seen the young man a few times over the last month. There was something about him that stood out, demanding Erwin’s attention. As the slideshow played he starred in it, gliding slowly across the park, his presence unlike everyone around him. 

To Erwin he looked like a ghost too. 

Then he stopped and turned, looking up toward the top of the hill and scowling at Erwin’s bench. There was no way he could’ve noticed the staring, Erwin was practically under the trees, up and off to the side in the dark. 

But before could react, the man turned away and hurried off, heading around the back of the fountain, toward downtown. 

Feeling unsettled but not knowing why, Erwin reclined on the bench again, eyes on the stars. Being in the park at night in his condition, ripe for mugging, didn’t worry him. He wasn’t afraid of much these days, didn’t really have any varying emotions other than loss and discomfort. Even if he wanted to try, to return to society and become the man he once was, they wouldn’t accept him. He was permanently marked now, he couldn’t cover it over or pretend it never happened; every time he looked in the mirror he heard the sounds of metal grating and screams while his arm ached where it used to be. 

But more than just his arm was missing. Other things had been crushed in the accident, things that would never come back, and Erwin wondered how long it would take until he felt alive again.

 

 **********

 

“Hey old man, the cops will be here soon and they’re going to think you’re fucking homeless.” 

Erwin blinked, disoriented. Rubbing his eyes he looked around in a haze for a few seconds, not remembering nodding off. 

Finally his mind and vision cleared enough to realize that his bench was being kicked. 

And that strange ghostly man was kicking it. He was right there in front of him. 

And he looked angry. 

Erwin couldn’t form words. The man was much more attractive up close, but it wasn’t just that, there was something otherworldly about him, something enticing and dark. Erwin was sure the anvil-grey eyes and that scowl set people off but he found it…

_Cute..._

It stunned him. He hadn’t found anything cute in a long time. Was cute even right to describe a scowl? 

“ _Are_ you homeless?” The man was still staring down at him, waiting for an answer. “Or just dumb?” 

“Why did you wake me up?” Erwin asked without thinking, his voice foreign to him, raspy from disuse. 

“Because I wanted to find out if you needed company before the cops showed up.” He sat down next to Erwin, looking him over. “I’ve seen you watching me. I thought you might be a potential client.” 

“A client?” It took Erwin an embarrassingly long time to make the connection. The man waited, staring at him with an expression that sat between amusement and frustration. 

“You’re a prostitute?” 

“You _are_ dumb.” 

“And you must be popular with that personality,” 

“I don’t get paid to talk.” 

Erwin chuckled then. Downright chuckled. He forgot what laughter felt like; it almost couldn’t find purchase in his chest. 

“I guess you’re right,” he admitted. The whole interaction was strange, not because the first person he really spoke to in two years was a snarky prostitute, but because speaking to said prostitute was strangely easy.

Natural.

Familiar. 

For a few seconds he didn’t feel so lost. 

“How much?” he asked without thinking, because if he thought about this at all he’d change his mind. 

“A hundred an hour,” the man looked confident, despite the fact that he was much younger than Erwin and trying not to shiver in a black hoodie that swallowed him. “No bareback, no BDSM, no disgusting shit.” 

Erwin’s eyebrows rose. “Disgusting shit?” 

A snort. “You know what I mean.” 

The space between them shrunk as he moved closer, leaning against Erwin’s arm, the dark enticing part of him up full blast. “I promise, you’ll enjoy yourself.” 

Erwin knew there was a reason behind him falling asleep in the park. He was escaping; it was almost the fourteenth and as each day ticked closer he became less and less sane. He used to never feel regret. He would base the results of one decision on the next, not looking back. To do so, to him, would be failure. And now, all he did was regret. He ignored it for so many years it came to him personally, dragging pieces of his soul in its wake and taking part of his mind with it. 

“I meant,” he said, reaching for his wallet; he had money now, so much money, his tragedy was lined with it. “How much for tonight and tomorrow?” 

“You’re shitting me.” The man shrunk back a little, until Erwin shoved twenty-four one hundred dollar bills in his hand. He alternated between staring at the money and staring at Erwin suspiciously. 

“Is this some kind of joke? Seen _Pretty Woman_ too much and want the boyfriend experience?” His voice was all venom. 

Erwin shoved the wallet back into his pants. “In a way. I need someone to keep me company tonight and tomorrow. We don’t have to have sex. I just want companionship.” 

He was leveled with a narrow grey stare. It weighed him for almost too long. He stared back, unable to look away. 

“Levi,” was the only thing he said, but it was a yes. 

Erwin felt more relief than expected. He held out his hand. “Erwin Smith.” 

Snorting again, Levi stood, ignoring the hand. “You don’t have to tell me your last name. Are we going back to your place or do you want to have the cops watch us on the bench?” 

Erwin held back a laugh at the straightforwardness. Standing, he ushered them from the park, heading home with Levi at his side. This was _dangerous_ and yet he didn’t care at all because something told him that this man wouldn’t kill him in his sleep. He had no understanding of how he knew, he just _knew_. 

Besides, he was looking to avoid and this seemed to be the perfect distraction.

 

**********

 

“This place is fucking disgusting,” Levi was all charm as he stepped into Erwin’s apartment. “I’d rather fuck you on the bench, it was cleaner.” 

Erwin had to admit that Levi spoke the truth. He was practically a shut in; not that he was ashamed of his disability, it was more that he was grieving and unable to participate in real life since leaving the hospital and finishing the horrors of court, so the take out boxes had piled up as well as dirty clothes and dishes. He couldn’t even remember to shower so vacuuming was out of the question… 

“Levi, I said before that we don’t have to-” 

“I don’t give a shit.” Somehow Levi had fished a white bandana out of his pocket and tied it over his head, keeping his bangs back. Then he quickly shed his hoodie, tossing it on top of a pile of clothing on what was probably a chair, and stood in the center of Erwin’s living room, arms folded. 

Erwin stared at him, _cute_ echoing in his head again, and something inside of him lurched, rendering him speechless. 

“I can’t stay here in a place like this and you just gave me a ton of money. I’m cleaning. Go do whatever a weird fuck like you likes to do.” 

“I’m a weird fuck?” Erwin felt the grin crack his face. 

Levi looked him up and down, weighing him again. 

“You’re a one-armed guy that hangs out in the park, looks like he just got off a desert island, and who hired a prostitute to _not_ fuck.” 

Then he wandered off to the kitchen, checking cabinets and pulling out cleaning supplies while muttering, “You need a maid.”

 

**********

 

Erwin was awkward, which was another new emotion for him. In his previous life he’d been sure, engaging, charismatic. 

And now he was insecure and fidgety, not used to the bustling of someone else in his apartment. He wasn’t uncomfortable because of Levi’s presence but more his intensity while he cleaned, it seemed like a catharsis for him and Erwin was afraid to move lest he interrupt and break the meditation. 

So he found himself out on the balcony for the last few hours, watching the stars again. During the fallout he’d sold his house and was renting a place in a quiet building within walking distance to everything; he didn’t drive anymore. The one-bedroom luxury apartment was almost too big for him and despite his size he felt small in it as he wandered the rooms at night; it was nice to have Levi there.

 _Levi..._  

He turned to watch his new purchase through the sliding doors and without missing a beat, Levi looked up, met his gaze, then turned and headed down the hall toward the bathroom. 

Erwin felt like he’d brought home a fae. Was this man even real? Did Erwin finally snap, creating something to help him cope with the next day? 

He crossed the balcony, sliding the door open and stepping into the now-pristine living room, the kitchen positively gleaming behind it. Erwin didn’t think the place was this clean when he moved in. 

Levi was definitely real or this was one hell of a hallucination. 

Quite a few bags of garbage lined the hallway to the door, Erwin took them out to the chute one at a time, attempting to be somewhat useful, and when he got back from the last trip Levi was sweeping off his bandana, shaking his long black bangs loose. 

“That took too long,” he stated flatly. “You’re a pig.” 

Erwin tried to look self-depreciating, unused to someone speaking to him so bluntly.  In fact, no one had ever spoken to him like that, even when he was whole. 

It was refreshing. 

“I admit, I’ve been preoccupied-wait, what are you doing?” Erwin took a step back as Levi shucked his t-shirt and jeans, socks quickly following. 

He wasn’t ready for this, for all that pale skin and movement, the way Levi’s muscles flexed under his skin. He was small but athletic, with the build of a dancer and although he could use a little fattening up, he was still lovely. 

“L-Levi,” Erwin’s thoughts jumbled together as Levi came closer, reaching for his well-worn untucked button-down. 

“We’re taking a shower,” he made quick use of the shirt and started on Erwin’s faded pants before Erwin had the presence of mind to pull away. 

“You don’t have to do this-” but Levi only _tsked_ at him, going right for the pants again, completely ignoring Erwin’s attempts at sanity. 

“I know, I know, you’re impotent or something-holy shit you’re _huge!_ ” Levi stopped and stared as Erwin’s pants and boxers fell to his ankles. 

And once again, Erwin felt awkward. But it seemed like Levi never did because a small hand settled on his hibernating cock, which stirred from its long slumber at the curious touch. 

And after all this time desire shoved its way through Erwin’s walls of discomfort and loss, burning brightly, showing him the way. 

Reaching down, he cupped the side of Levi’s face, tracing a cheekbone with his thumb. There was need in those grey eyes, more than Erwin expected, and he pulled up slightly with his hand, trying to bring their lips together. 

Levi held back momentarily, stopping a breath away. 

“I knew you wanted me,” he whispered across Erwin’s mouth before claiming it. 

The kiss was toe-curling, electric, and Levi tasted sweet and sharp. It was almost too much. Erwin didn’t know why he was so affected; he wanted to say it was lack of human contact but he hadn’t felt anything even close to _this_ in previous relationships. 

Erwin opened his lips wider, tongue sliding along Levi’s, hand crushing that smaller body against his large frame. The sound Levi made in reply tickled the roof of Erwin’s mouth and he dove in even further, bending Levi back with ferocity, wanting more, wanting all of Levi, wanting to rip him open and devour him whole. 

The hand left his cock and slender fingers wound through Erwin’s hair, tugging on the shaggy blond strands while Levi moaned in that tight grasp, melding into Erwin and then slowly breaking away. 

“Shower,” he mumbled through swollen lips, breathing heavily. “You smell. And I want to get rid of that beard.” Then he stepped back, peeling down his black boxer briefs to show Erwin the proud leaking erection he felt grinding into his leg before, and stalked to the bathroom, kicking the underwear back at Erwin who remained dumbfounded, too stunned to move yet. 

It wasn’t until the water started, echoing down the hall, that Erwin snapped into the present, slowly making his way to the shower. This was a lot to process but he was certain of one thing; he didn’t feel lost with Levi.  

Erwin was afraid to join him, to connect with him even more because if he did he might not be able to let go. 

But he couldn’t stay away. Levi was like a fresh gasp of air after being underwater, a torch in a dark cave, and once he entered the bathroom a hand extended from behind the curtain, beckoning him inside, and he took it without a second thought, stepping into a steam-filled world away from reality, away from accidents and tragedies and birthdays full of nightmare fuel. 

There was no slideshow anymore, just Levi in the spotlight, front and center and _real_. 

Oddly dutiful, Levi set Erwin under the stream of water, standing on his toes and washing Erwin’s hair with careful strokes, every once in awhile making a face and muttering about how showers existed for a reason. Moving on, he rubbed soapy circles over Erwin’s arm and torso, stopping to admire and tease before he reached Erwin’s stump, which was studied with curious lips and hands. Erwin stood quietly through it all, taking it in, dreamlike in his observance until Levi moved lower. 

And then desire dug her hooks in hard, taking over and flooding Erwin with the urge to possess. 

Grabbing Levi’s wrist, Erwin pressed him up against the tiled wall in less than a second. Levi’s hand opened, dropping the washcloth, and he moaned, wrapping a leg around Erwin’s waist, spurring him on. There was challenge in Levi’s eyes and so much more, layers Erwin wanted to peel back, and he started by kissing him fiercely once again. 

Levi responded in kind, mouth open against Erwin’s, writhing against him like a siren. A flush had spread across his cheeks, dusting his chin and neck, and Erwin knew that it wasn’t an act, especially when Erwin pulled back to stare into Levi’s eyes again and the pupils were wide, dilated with lust-tinged confusion. 

“You’re such a weird fuck,” Levi breathed before dropping to his knees. Erwin was so disoriented he didn’t know what was happening until Levi licked his cock from root to tip and his legs almost buckled. 

“A weird fuck with a big dick,” Levi murmured, rubbing his face against the shaft. He seemed entranced by it, kissing it slowly, mouthing his lips up and over the top only to lap down to the base. He took his time with Erwin’s balls, teasing and licking before finally sucking his way back to the tip, where he placed a final kiss, opened his lips, and swallowed Erwin halfway down. 

Between the shock of pleasure and the steam, Erwin had to brace himself against the wall. He moaned openly at the wet hot suction of Levi’s mouth and Levi moaned in return, stroking himself as his head sunk deeper and deeper with each pass, trying to take all of Erwin in. His lips were stretched tight around the girth, and he only choked a little as he pushed himself toward the nest of dark blond curls in front of him steadily, hollowing his cheeks and humming. 

Just as he reached the base Erwin lost control. It had been too long since he’d done anything remotely like this, and was surprised he’d lasted as long as he did, especially with Levi sucking him so wantonly. 

“NnnnL-Le-vi, I-I’m-” he babbled, incapable of stringing words together. 

Levi only grunted, staying where he was and swallowing hard around Erwin’s cock, ripping his orgasm from him. Erwin’s hand skidded a bit where it braced him on the wall as he practically folded in half, gritting his teeth and coming hard down Levi’s throat. 

Shuddering as he swallowed, Levi stopped pumping, streams of white shooting up from his cock, Erwin’s pleasure apparently triggering his own. He made short breathy noises as he came, and Erwin knew he wanted to hear that sound again and again. He would never tire of it. 

Levi’s lips slid off the softening shaft in a slow drag and Erwin sunk to the floor of the shower beside him, practically dragging Levi onto his lap to kiss him more. Aftershocks rippled through them both as they lazily made out under the water, tongues swiping and tasting as Erwin stroked Levi’s face. It was the first time in years that Erwin wasn’t tortured, wasn’t lost, wasn’t anything but himself. It was beautiful. He had no idea he could feel like this again. 

“It’s different with you, old man,” Levi’s voice was nonplussed but Erwin could sense he was barely holding it steady. 

“How is it different?” Erwin leaned in to nuzzle at Levi’s nose. Levi sneered but didn’t pull away. 

“It isn’t like work.” Levi recovered from the admission by adding, “Although you need to lose the beard.” 

“You don’t like my look?” 

“If you’re aiming for circus freak or hobo you’ve nailed it.” 

“You’re too kind.” 

“Whatever, we’re getting out and I’m shaving your face. If that thing gets any longer you need to live in Brooklyn or the woods.” 

Levi reached over him, rubbing their skin together in a way that sent a tremor through both of them, and shut off the water. He stepped out first, drying himself with a fresh towel from the several loads of laundry he’d done that night, then he set to work drying Erwin as well, the scowl back on his face. Erwin did nothing but watch and admire, deep blue eyes tracking Levi’s every move, how his fingers twisted and wrapped the towel, how he squinted with concentration, how he flicked his head back every time dark wet bangs fell into his face. It was like being possessed, charmed by a spirit; Erwin couldn’t tear his gaze away. 

Leaving the bathroom, Levi quickly came back in his underwear with a pair of scissors in hand, then pulled a set of disposable razors out of the newly-organized medicine cabinet. 

“I’m starving,” he declared, setting up. “And you have nothing but mustard and whiskey in your fridge.” 

“Should I order in?” Erwin asked. Levi looked at him like he was an idiot so he took that as a yes. 

“What are you hungry for?” He tried again. 

Levi peered over his shoulder at the clock. “Anything that delivers after midnight.” 

Erwin felt dizzy. It was after midnight? He’d almost forgotten… 

“By the way, I saw your old driver’s license when I was cleaning the bedroom. I know why you bought me now.” 

The air suddenly left the room, Levi’s voice becoming more and more distant as Erwin’s missing arm began to throb and sear. 

“Happy Birthday you old f- Erwin? Erwin what’s wrong?” 

He didn’t know why everything tilted to the side but he was falling, and screaming, clutching his shoulder and feeling it all over again. The shock as the brakes didn’t work, the icy claw of fear as he tried to wrangle them back onto the road, the moment they hung, suspended, before the car landed, the crunch as it rolled. 

The all-consuming explosion of pain in his right arm as metal lanced through it. 

Hange screams. Mike’s silence. 

Then Hange’s silence. 

But there was something else. Someone was calling to him before he bled out and everything went black. 

 _Erwin_. 

It was so hard to breathe. 

“Erwin.” 

Sharper pain, this time across his face. 

“Erwin. _Shit_. ERWIN.” 

He clung to the sound of that voice like a raft in the ocean and the flashback began to recede. 

“Erwin… _please_.” 

Suddenly there was more air in the room. He took in a breath, then another. After a few seconds reality coalesced and he found himself curled up on the bathroom floor, left hand clutching his shoulder, which now only throbbed. His head was cushioned by towels and fingers were running through his wet hair, slowly, soothingly. 

Turning his face, he stared up at Levi and it was obvious that he was worried. The mocking brusqueness was gone, his brow lined with concern, eyes wide with anxiety. 

“The fuck was that?” Levi said, tone oddly gentle, fingers continuing to slide through Erwin’s hair. 

“I’m sorry,” he began, his voice hoarse from screaming. “The…the next few days mark the anniver…sary of…” 

He couldn’t say it. It was two years today, _right now_ , and he still couldn’t say it. His mouth opened and closed as he covered his eyes with his hand, trying to find strength but coming up empty. 

The fingers combing through Erwin’s hair stopped. 

“It’s shitty when they die, isn’t it?” 

Erwin dropped his hand, staring up at Levi in horror, but Levi wasn’t looking at him, he was looking at the bathroom wall, at something only he could see. 

“They’re part of your life and then…and then they’re fucking _gone_. Just…gone like they were never there.” Levi’s voice was heavy, the grief in his countenance palpable. “They leave you behind. They leave this hole and you don’t know what to do. You’re…” 

“Lost,” Erwin said without thinking, the word falling from his lips. 

Levi’s gaze snapped back down, spearing through Erwin, and it was like looking into a mirror. All the pain he saw in his own reflection every day was fresh and vibrant across Levi’s features, twisting them, making him look older than he should. Unconsciously, Erwin grabbed at Levi’s hand, lacing their fingers together and squeezing. Levi squeezed back, minutely, and they remained on the floor in silence, their connection absolute, almost visible as they stared into each other. 

The moments stretched long, time lost somewhere between them. Eventually the warmth of their understanding spread through them and Erwin watched as the layers in Levi’s grey gaze pulled back, showing Erwin a softer, more vulnerable side. 

That flush returned, spreading up from Levi’s soft white neck into his cheeks as he turned away, mumbling, 

“I lied.” 

Erwin’s chest grew cold, icy spears stabbing his limbs. 

“About what, Levi?” 

“The cops don’t come to that park,” it was hard to hear his voice, Erwin had to strain. “I saw you on the street five weeks ago. I don’t know why but I followed you all the way here before I realized what I was doing. Then I kept seeing you on that bench and…” 

Erwin released Levi’s hand and sat up. “And what, Levi?” 

“I knew.” Levi was solemn when he turned back. “You looked like me, like you had things taken from you. I woke you because I wanted to talk, because I wanted to…I don’t fucking know.” 

Relief. Erwin’s hand twitched, aching to reach out and grasp Levi’s face, pull him close and embrace him, but he had to know one thing. 

“Levi, _are_ you a prostitute?” 

A sigh and Levi looked battle-weary, older again. “Since they…I’ve been wandering since it happened. Sometimes I sleep with men who offer me money or a place to stay but you’re the first customer I’ve approached. _Shit_ , you’re not a customer, you’re different.” His voice was thin, frustrated. “Why are you different?” 

Erwin gave in to his urge and wrapped his arm around Levi, who stiffened at first, still overwhelmed and confused, but then relaxed, carefully fitting his smaller form against Erwin’s. 

“I feel the same way,” Erwin murmured into Levi’s hair, kissing the top of his head. 

“This is so fucking stupid,” Levi’s voice was muffled in Erwin’s chest. “I’m getting the whiskey.” 

 

**********

 

Erwin was drunk. Since they’d forgotten about dinner, both were easily soused after shots on empty stomachs. Despite the fact that Erwin was practically twice Levi’s size, Levi had held his own and now the two of them were on the balcony, nestled on a wicker couch, wrapped in Erwin’s freshly-washed blanket and each other. 

“Will you shit yourself again if I wissch you a happy birthday, old man?” Levi barely made it through without slurring. He was doing better, considering his last few sentences were unintelligible babble about how swifters weren’t mops. 

Erwin grimaced. “I didn’t shit myself, Levi. I had a panic attack.” He went to run his hand trough his hair and missed. 

“K.” Levi reached for the bottle, which was down by half, and poured another two shots, splashing liquor on the table. “Will you have another panic ‘tack if I say ‘happy birthday old man?’” 

“I’m not _old_. I’m…” 

Levi stared at him, swaying back and forth, hand hovering over the glasses about to pick them up. “You’re…” 

“Forty? Forty-one?” Erwin couldn’t quite remember. 

“That’s ooooold,” Levi practically howled. “You’re like, decades older than me!” 

“I seris- serris- I seriouses- I _highly_ doubt I'm decades older. You have crow’s feet.” 

Levi scowled murderously at him. “I’m only twenty-eight, I don’t have crow’s feet!” 

But Erwin was smitten, reaching for Levi’s face while cooing, “You’re cuuuute when you’re angry.” 

“You’re lucky it’s your birthday or I’d kick your anshient ass.” Despite the scoffing and faux resistance, Levi let himself be pulled in for a long whiskey-spiced kiss. Hands wandered, Erwin sliding his up the back of Levi’s shirt, stroking along his spine while Levi ran fingers all over Erwin’s smooth face, relishing the newly-exposed skin. 

Levi had insisted on shaving Erwin’s unkempt beard before they got too drunk and, to be fair, he’d done a perfect job. With each pass of the razor Erwin felt pieces of regret falling away as well, until it wasn’t just his face that felt lighter. Levi only stared when he was done, looking annoyed, but the flush in his cheeks gave away his admiration. 

And the way he hummed as he kissed Erwin’s bare chin made Erwin decide to stay clean-shaven from now on. 

“mm _MM!_ ” Levi broke away, grabbing the shot glasses and shoving one in Erwin’s hand. He held his up for a toast, his fingers along the rim of the glass. 

“Happy birthday Erwin,” he said with a soft smile, something Erwin knew was rare and special. Warmth stirred in his chest, pulsing through him like the beginnings of a heartbeat, bringing him back to life. 

Slowly he raised his own small glass and placed it between Levi’s fingers with a _clink_. He held it there for a moment, taking a long breath as they locked eyes. 

“To Mike and Hange.” He hadn’t said their names in so long; it was both strange and familiar on his tongue. 

Levi started, knowing what that took, and blinked, biting his lip. 

“To Farlan and Isabel.” His voice was thick but there was relief in there, like he’d dropped a heavy burden. 

There was stillness before they took the shot, reverence and release echoing around them, and then they both raised glasses to their lips and drank, Erwin hissing through his teeth at the burn. 

Before Erwin could recover Levi was in his lap, those small hands on his face again, stroking his jawline and moving lower. 

“Let’s go to bed,” Levi’s voice was raspy and it went straight to Erwin’s groin. “I want your cock inside of me.” 

“Levi we’re drunk, we shouldn’t-” Erwin tried to grab one of the wandering hands but Levi was having none of that, somehow wiggling away and getting Erwin’s pants undone.

“Do you always talk this much shit?” He slid off Erwin’s lap, stood in a wobbly fashion, and started to undress. “If you don’t wanna take me to the bedroom then I’ll ride your crazy dick out here-” 

Despite his low muscle mass and inebriated state, Erwin could still carry Levi quite easily under his one arm, even as Levi squirmed and cursed. However, Erwin almost dropped him when he entered the bedroom, shocked by the transformation of Levi’s cleaning. He’d forgotten the carpet was off-white, and was that _his_ bedspread? 

“I told you before, you’re a pig,” Levi twisted in his grasp, trying to force Erwin’s pants off his hips. Erwin responded by tossing the smaller man onto the bed, watching him bounce a few times, bangs flopping in his eyes. 

“What would you have done if I turned down your offer in the park?” he asked, undressing and kneeling over Levi, who was eagerly stripping out of his pants and underwear, already shirtless from his show on the balcony. 

“I knew you wouldn’t turn it down.” He arched a fine eyebrow at Erwin. “Not with the way you were staring at me, old man.” 

“My name’s Erwin, Levi. Not ‘old man.’” 

“How ‘bout I call you Commander?” 

“Commander? Why?” 

“Because your dick commands attention.” Levi wrapped both of his hands around it, pumping, and Erwin’s head snapped back. “ _Commander._ ” 

The sun was coming up, soft grey light starting to spear the horizon and lighten the room as Erwin thrust into Levi’s hands. _Levi_ , a rude enigmatic prostitute who stalked him, cleaned his place and shared his pain. 

Eight hours ago he was a stranger and now Erwin couldn’t live without him. 

His escape plan had worked. 

Leaning in, Erwin lapped at Levi’s mouth until it opened, then explored it deeply, enjoying how Levi’s grip on his cock tightened, hands pumping faster when Erwin bit at his lips, then trailed down his neck. 

Pleased to find that Levi was blushing even redder than before, Erwin followed the edge of the flush down his chest to a nipple, sucking and nibbling the button until it was tight and hard under his tongue. 

One hand left Erwin’s cock and latched into his hair. 

“Nnnnn, _fuck._ Erwin!” Levi’s pupils were wide, lined with grey, and he abandoned Erwin’s cock entirely, threading his other hand in that lush blonde hair while tilting his hips up and wrapping teasing legs around Erwin’s waist, trying to rub their cocks together. Erwin noted the flexibility, vowing to explore that feature later, and bit down on Levi’s nipple, grinding it slightly between his teeth, holding his hips back as Levi twisted, wailing, pulling Erwin’s hair hard enough to make his eyes sting. 

“Impatient,” Erwin remarked. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and wanted to savor every moment, every sound, explore Levi slowly and learn his body. For two years he was a shadow, lost in the world, and now that he was found, he was going to properly worship his new path. 

A moan that trailed off into a high-pitched whine was Levi’s only retort. Deciding to give him some mercy, Erwin flipped them, laying on his back, and Levi easily fell into step, straddling him and grabbing both their cocks with his hands, pressing them together. 

Levi’s eyes rolled up at the contact and Erwin braced him with a hand on his hip, taking in the sight. Naked like this, flushed and wanton, Levi was ethereal, practically glowing in the dawn as it spread across the room. His hair was so dark it shone, his face was open and true, and the twist of pleasure that replaced his standard scowl made him illegally beautiful. Erwin felt blessed. He didn’t know what strange twist of fate or luck brought this man to him but he needed it and he was so very grateful. 

The slide of Levi’s cock against his, the press of his hands, spiked through Erwin along with the alcohol making him sweat. His palm slid on Levi’s hip as they began to rock, those small hands pumping, curses and cries falling from Levi’s mouth in time with Erwin’s moans. 

It was intense, surreal, like nothing else existed but the two of them and that room. Erwin knew exactly what Levi meant by _different_ because everything about this was different than he’d ever experienced before; it was more powerful, more passionate… 

It was _right_. 

The only thing Erwin wanted now was more of Levi. All of Levi. And it seemed that Levi felt a similar way, for he complained when Erwin began to sit up, forcing their cocks apart. 

“The fuck, Erwin?” he was breathing hard, lips wet and plump and asking to be bitten. He still swayed from the alcohol but lust was sobering him and by the look in his eyes he needed this every bit as much as Erwin did. 

And Erwin would not disappoint him. He had ideas, things he’d wanted to do to Levi since they’d kissed in the living room, but he needed to know something first. 

“Have you been with anyone else tonight?” Erwin grabbed a pillow, stuffing it behind his back so he was somewhat elevated, then turned Levi in his lap until that small round ass was up in his face and Levi was within reach of Erwin’s cock. 

“No. It’s been…awhile.” Levi seemed embarrassed by the admission, refusing to look over his shoulder, so he missed Erwin’s feral grin. 

“Good,” he growled, rubbing Levi’s cheeks, relishing the hard quivering muscle under soft flesh. Levi moaned in return, precum dripping from his cock to Erwin’s chest in a silvery string, one of his hands reaching out to pump Erwin again. 

Using his thumb and forefinger Erwin spread Levi open, salivating at the pulsing pink hole that greeted him. Leaning in, he traced it with his nose, taking in Levi’s smell, his musk, and yearning for a taste. 

Darting out a stiff tongue, Erwin licked the entrance, poking slightly, and Levi shuddered, almost choking from the pleasure. 

“Shit _fuck,_ Erwin,” his legs unconsciously spread further, flesh pebbling as goosebumps rippled across his body. The grip he had on Erwin’s cock loosened as he stared over his shoulder with surprised eyes. 

Erwin raised his eyebrows at Levi and did it again, except this time he breached the hole, spearing it and licking at the warm softness inside. Levi wailed and fell completely forward, face in Erwin’s stomach, hands gripping and twisting the bedspread on either side. The position forced his ass open even wider and Erwin took full opportunity, pushing his face in and tasting Levi thoroughly, lapping at his rim, dragging and swiping his tongue along the soft inner walls, trying to devour; Erwin couldn’t stop himself. 

Levi was a litany of curses, whines, and moans, sweat-soaked bangs tangling as he tossed his head back and forth, his dick twitching and leaking. Erwin only took that as a sign to continue, adding a finger alongside his tongue, pressing and stretching the tiny cavern. 

“nnNNNNNmmm gon-na I’m gonna-!” Levi was quaking as his sweet hole pulsed. Erwin added a second finger easily, pushing in and up while swirling his tongue and Levi screeched so loudly that Erwin was sure the cops would be knocking in a few minutes. 

Rocking back, Levi thrust into Erwin’s face once, twice, then stiffened. Erwin heard the bedspread rip as wetness shot across his chest and down his abdomen, Levi coming without a hand on his dick, Erwin’s tongue and fingers easily bringing him over.  He was silent, trembling like he’d break apart, his tunnel clenching around Erwin until his legs gave out and he started to slump bonelessly. 

Removing himself, Erwin wiped the back of his mouth with his hand, enjoying the sight of Levi’s stretched and slick hole, his spent cock still twitching below that, dripping lazily. He couldn’t help himself and ran a finger along Levi’s balls, watching as he jerked, oversensitive. 

Finally Levi turned, his face splotchy, hair in disarray. He tried to frown but it came out too weak to be anything and the blissed-out look in his eyes belied any attempt he could make at scowling. 

“I’m glad you enjoyed that,” Erwin remarked, drowning in the cuteness. 

“…yeah,” Levi said after a minute, his voice as blown-out as his eyes. Slowly, his slid off Erwin’s lap to the side, onto the bunched and torn bedspread. “No one’s ever done that to me before.” 

Erwin’s eyebrows shot to the top of his head. 

“Customers usually just want head or a quick fuck,” Levi added at Erwin’s expression. “I don’t even kiss them.” 

“You…don’t?” The heartbeat from before ran faster now. 

“No.” Wearing that small smile again, Levi crawled up to lean against Erwin’s side, finger sliding into the puddle of cum on his chest, smearing it around a nipple. “I never kiss customers.” 

Erwin watched him, far too easily enraptured, “And yet you kissed me.” 

“Mmmmm,” Levi licked the trail he left around Erwin’s nipple, tasting himself, then mouthed a path north up Erwin’s neck to his lips where he stopped, hovering. 

“But I’m not kissing you again until you brush your teeth.” 

Erwin chuckled. “Fair enough.” 

“I promise,” Levi said, rolling onto his back, “I’ll keep myself busy while you’re gone.” He ran hands lasciviously down his body, playing with his nipples and arching, then moving them down to rest and stroke his inner thighs, lust still raging in his gaze. 

Erwin came back from the bathroom in record time. 

Levi had started without him, the throaty sounds he made echoing down the hall, causing Erwin to stumble and stop short as he re-entered the bedroom. 

“Missed you, _Commander_ ” greeted him, as did the sight of Levi on his back, holding his legs up and apart while sinking four fingers into himself to the second knuckle. 

Erwin didn’t know how long he stood there watching. He also didn’t know where the open condom and lube came from because they weren’t his, they must’ve been Levi’s, and he certainly didn’t recall moving, all of a sudden the thin latex was stretched over his cock and he was slicking it but all he could remember was _Levi_. Levi’s strained face, his swollen lips, they way his fingers disappeared then slowly emerged, the reddened cock above them already hard again, shimmering drops trailing to his stomach. 

“Want _hhnnngg_ your ridiculous cock,” Levi moaned through clenched teeth, his fingers bottoming out as he stretched wider. 

Putting one knee on the bed, Erwin grabbed Levi’s wrist, twisting it as he pulled back, popping the fingers out. Levi whined at the loss but made up for it with sarcasm. 

“I thought we didn’t have to have sex, aren’t we too drunk?” he teased as Erwin pulled on his leg, dragging him to the edge of the bed and grabbing pillows to stuff under his hips. With Levi tilted up like that, ass elevated and holding back his legs, Erwin’s cock could easily slide in from where he stood at the foot of the bed, but he squatted down first, studying Levi’s gape, running fingertips around the edge and breathing over it. 

“If you don’t fuck me soon I’m going to kick you in the head, _Commander_.” Levi stated breathlessly. 

“As you wish,” Erwin grinned, standing, and lined himself up, meeting Levi’s eyes. They stared at each other for a few seconds, anticipation and connection crackling in the air around them, until Erwin pushed forward and Levi arched, curving his back with a guttural moan. 

It was tight, so very tight, and Erwin had to breathe deeply. He was out of practice and nothing had ever squeezed his cock this way, Levi was practically pulling him in. 

“Levi…” Erwin took a hard breath through his nose, too much warmth curling in his belly too early. But again, Levi was having none of it. 

“More, come _on_ Erwin, fuck me.” He let go of his legs, straightening them so they rested up Erwin’s chest and shoulders, then reached under himself, pulling his cheeks apart. Looking down Erwin could see himself more than halfway in, Levi’s hole stretched tight around him, taking his girth. It made him growl and surge forward even more, until he filled Levi completely, making the legs against him tremble. 

Levi took him all with a drawn-out filthy moan, releasing his ass to thread fingers in the bedspread above his head, gazing at Erwin with lidded eyes, the hint of a challenge glittering beneath. Engulfing a slender ankle with his hand, Erwin began to thrust, pulling out all the way slowly before sliding back in just as slow, picking up speed as Levi tilted his pelvis off the pillows, meeting each thrust eagerly. The mattress creaked, springs singing as Erwin began to snap his hips, using the leverage on Levi’s ankle to turn him until he hit him just right, Levi letting him know with a choked cry and twisting hands. 

Erwin held him there, pounding into Levi, relishing in the squeeze of his tunnel, how it seemed to ripple every time he sank in, only to clutch at him when he withdrew, asking for more. Writhing, Levi echoed the sentiment, nipples and cock red hard, eyes rolled up into his head as he babbled, ripping the bedspread again. 

“So full....oh shit,” one of his hands reached down, trying to grab his cock but Erwin swatted it away. 

“No,” he ground out, slowing his thrusts, “not yet.” 

Pulling out, Erwin sat on the bed with his feet on the floor and patted his thigh. 

“You shitty asshole!” Levi yelled, sitting up, “What are-” 

“Come here, Levi,” Erwin tugged him over despite his grumbling, getting him to straddle his lap again. Clutching Erwin’s shoulders, Levi held himself steady above that thick cock, the need to drop down and impale himself hungry in his eyes, blotting out the annoyance at being interrupted and moved. 

“Do it,” Erwin commanded, and Levi let go, trusting Erwin’s hand on his hip to keep him from falling backward as he spilt himself open to the base. 

“Nnnghh…deep,” he gasped out, trembling, and Erwin thrust up, sliding his hand from Levi’s hip to his back and leaning their foreheads together. It was intimate like this, looking into each other’s eyes as they fucked, sharing each other’s breath. But Erwin wasn’t embarrassed, he was enthralled. In this moment there was no loss, no discomfort; only desire consumed him now, and he burned in it willingly. 

Levi shivered with fluttering eyelids, circling his hips and clinging to Erwin’s shoulders, nails digging in, mouth taking sharp gasps of air. He was exquisite and Erwin hungered for more, the need to possess, the need to devour controlling him as he thrust faster. Levi unraveled from the spikes of pleasure, his flush deepening, matching his cock as he bounced in Erwin’s lap, smearing wetness across both their stomachs. 

“Touch yourself,” Erwin ordered, wishing he could hold Levi and jerk him off at the same time. 

“Shit,” Levi ground out through his teeth, winding his hand between them and grasping his cock with white knuckles. “Mmm, yeah, _Erwin_.” 

The sound of his name spilling from Levi’s lips rippled through Erwin like another heartbeat. _His_ name, not said with the tinge of pity or sorrow but uttered in pleasure. He’d been a ghost for so long he’d forgotten what it was like to hear it out loud. 

“ _Levi,_ ” he breathed, kissing those open lips once again. They stayed that way, their mouths meeting sloppily as they sped up even further, Levi’s hand a blur until he froze, crying out against Erwin’s lips and jolting, streams of white shooting from his pulsing cock, coating his fingers and both of their stomachs. 

Erwin continued to thrust, enjoying the waves of the viselike grip around his dick. Levi drooped forward onto Erwin, burrowing into the crook of his neck, too spent and sensitive to do anything but shake and moan. 

“ _Erwin, Erwin, Erwin,_ ” he gasped weakly with every push inside, and that’s all that Erwin needed. His name on Levi’s lips like a chant, that small precious body all around him, finding him when he was so very lost, resurrecting him. 

And with a sob Erwin came, pressing his face into Levi’s shoulder as his orgasm ripped through him, bleeding his mind white, giving him a new starting point. Erwin could almost feel a switch flip inside. 

He held Levi close, gently nuzzling his shoulder until the shaking stopped. Slowly, as if he was also coming back to life, Levi wrapped his arms around Erwin and they stayed like that, still and calm in the morning light of the room. 

 

**********

 

“It was a fire,” Levi said later, out of nowhere. 

They were lying in the tub dozing, Levi in Erwin’s lap, their fingers entwined, their legs tangled underwater. After Levi had stated that he wouldn’t go to sleep sticky as shit, Erwin had agreed to a bath, but only after they drank a few glasses of water to head off their earlier whiskey binge. They were no longer drunk and now hovered on the edge of sleep, lulled by the warmth and solitude of the bathroom, an occasional drip the only sound. 

So while Levi’s admission was soft, it snapped Erwin awake. 

“A fire?” he echoed, blinking. Levi didn’t have to talk about it but Erwin wouldn’t stop him if he wanted to. 

“Where they worked.” Levi’s tone was just above a whisper yet it held so much weight. “Farlan got out first but went back in for Isabel. The fucking idiot. Now they’re both gone.” 

“Levi…” Erwin tightened the hand in his, stroking the back of it with his thumb. 

“I grew up with them. We all had shitty parents that left so we took care of each other. They were my family. After they died I had no one.” His sigh was long and broken. 

“Now you have me,” Erwin declared, bring their interlocked hands up across Levi’s chest for a hug. Levi snorted but didn’t reply, leaning back into the hold. 

“Thank you for telling me, Levi.” Erwin whispered after a moment. 

“You’re the first person I’ve told,” he whispered back. Erwin couldn’t help himself, he hugged Levi more tightly. 

“I’m glad you kicked my bench.” 

Levi’s snort had more humor in it this time, his fingers squeezing around Erwin’s. 

“I wish you could meet them. Isabel would love you, she’d probably treat you like a big teddy bear,” he declared, settling even more into the hug. 

“Isn’t that what you’re doing right now?” Erwin observed. Levi ignored him. 

“Farlan would give me shit and call you my Daddy just to be a dick.” 

Erwin’s laugh echoed off the walls. “I think Mike would do the same thing in his own way. You and Hange would have been great friends, you’re both uniquely strange.” 

Levi tilted his head to look at Erwin. “Like you’re not a weird fuck, Commander.” 

“As I’ve said before,” Erwin winked at him, ‘you’re too kind.” 

Levi _tsked_ and tried to look away but Erwin stopped him, unlacing his fingers and grabbing Levi’s chin, turning him around so they faced each other. 

Erwin swallowed. He was afraid, anxious, those were new emotions too. 

“Stay,” was all he managed to get out, but it was one of the most important words he’d ever said. He waited, his new heartbeat pounding through him. 

Levi’s stare weighed him again, kinder this time in its solemnity. 

“Of course I’m going to stay, or all you’ll eat is take out and this place will go to shit again,” he finally stated, almost too flippantly. Erwin could hear the quiver in his voice. 

He covered it up by kissing Erwin, lingering against his lips. 

“By the way,” Levi breathed. “I’m non-refundable.” 

“I’d pay any price,” Erwin promised before they kissed again, long and wet, melting into each other. 

Erwin had been many things these past few years: bleak, regretful, lost. 

But now he was alive again. He was happy. 

He was in love. 

It was entirely new territory.

 


End file.
